Confessions of Mr. Lockheart

locked heart, lockheart, naked man, bare, heart, black and white heart Many people delight in the blissful nature of love. They recount with incomparable glee how sweet and beautiful love is. For most of them, love is everything; it is what makes their world go round. It is the essence of living.

But I know of one person who does not revel in the character of love, not for long anyway. Not that he ceased to love but he said that he’d rather be alone, make a life of his own and forget what love has to offer everyone. He said he fell in love once with someone, got the most out of it, gave up everything he can to make the relationship strong and alive, and did every little thing he can do just so to feel the joy of sharing an intimate love with somebody.

Yet contrary to what he persevered to maintain and keep, the love that he and his special someone had fallen to a bitter end. He was betrayed, he said, and it was unjust and injustice for him to be done that, for he remained faithful all along. But still he never gave up the hope that someday he’ll find someone again, to give back the love that he deserves.

And came another one, another catastrophe, if he were to rate it. It was just more painful that the more he got in love the more painful the hurting he felt. And right there and then he gave up… and never dared to fall in love again.

I asked him the reasons why he fears of being in love with someone again. He said he has locked his heart from all the possible hurting love can bring. True, love brings so much joy, but not for him, he said.

“I am now seeing myself as a person whose heart has been hardened by the people and the cruel thorns of love,” he furthered. “I get attracted to some people at times, and even thought of giving myself another moment to love again but every time I do so, I bear in mind that what I will get is the familiar pain again, which, even though my heart’s wounds have already healed to scars, I am afraid will no longer be tolerable. Instead of engaging in any relationship I will just divert my attention to some other things. In that way, I am detached from the world where many lovers pass by with hands held tight against each other. They appear to me as if they were not lovers. That’s how powerful conditioning the mind can do.”

Love is but a silly thing, Mr. Lockheart added. “One moment you swim happily in its enticing ocean, the next you found yourself drowning in it helplessly, like it has swallowed you whole and would never spit you out again. I can’t see any reason why I should be in love again. It is just a waste of time, isn’t it?”

Mr. Lockheart may have become so cynical and skeptical about love and I can see that he’s badly hurt, and I cannot blame him why he wouldn’t allow love to come his way again, for indeed if love only bring more of pain than joy then I’d rather I’d not fall in its trap.

It is just a waste of time—love .”

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