Officially Leaving and Living Independently

laundryThe very first time that I was actually away from home for a long period of time was in summer break after my second grade, where I had to live in the confines of my aunt’s house in a nearby city, implicitly as their daughter’s favorite tantrum redeemer, as a playmate, babysitter, and clown that is. And then I had to do the same the next year’s break.

When I had to leave for out of town hospital duties in college, I actually didn’t so much as worry for I only had to be away for three consecutive days the most. And with fragile frame and frail muscle strength, I didn’t do the laundry. My mom did, when I got back home. Even, well, my undies, and I feel a minute tinge of shame saying that, only minute. I am not a disabled whatsoever, I am just too thin to carry out the deed and perhaps I am just a lazy person, too.

When the time of my official, temporary transfer of residence neared, I readied myself: schemed how to budget tightly my weekly allowance, what for personal effects should I buy to save, how to allot my time properly so as to get every necessary activity done without constraints, and how to do the laundry, seemingly the hardest part for me. If you thought of bringing my clothes to the laundry shop, do not forget that I am geared to saving my resources.

September 29 kicked off. Laden with an average-sized, black Mandarin luggage, a blue Penshoppe backpack, two, large Bench paperbags and an anxiety worn over my head, I left home with a heavy heart, and I admittedly had drenched my pillow with tears an hour prior to that. Basically, it seemed hard for me. The thought of leaving was as uncontainable as a vast sea. The feeling was simply awkward.

And now that I am in a new residence, particularly a dorm, I am little by little learning to be independent. Although I still am not yet very much skilled in budgeting, at least I know how to decide what things are truly necessary and trivial so that I only have to spend on my meals (no breakfast, just milk and some biscuits). Thanks God the dorm’s not that far from the review center I can actually get there by foot, a good every morning exercise. But there's no TV here, so it's really kind of boring.

I still have more or less 60 days until the Philippine Nurse Licensure Exam. I am not essentially fearing it, but the thought of not passing it would be a great devastation for me. I will be a nurse soon, and I could do with greater possibility with your prayers. Please pray for me.

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